Bar wars
by Notlek
Summary: My first parody, I don't know how many chapter there will be. I also take request for one of the movies I haven't done
1. Only an Intro awww

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!

Bar wars

Only an intro

awww

This is an intro so you know the full story. I'll explain the characters, and the stories a bit…and if you haven't notice, this is a parody of Star wars.

Puke Landcrawler: His height is average for humans, has dark brown eyes, hair, skin and clothes. Puke is very, very, very happy, so happy he makes some people sick

Princess Payer: A bit taller than average, she is ugly. Payer has a bad temper…in the distance she yells "I DO NOT!"

Pans Coke: Really tall, really ugly… and really annoying. Says he doesn't like Payer, gets annoyed when she's alone with other boys…

Tobacca: A cookie from Mycheek. Toby, short for Tobacca, is tall and hairy. Warning! Never get him angry, and always let him … and his war cries are annoying.

Park Skater: Main weapon… a skateboard. With mega blasters on them. Not sure if he is human, this guy is short, and don't get him angry, he rules the galaxy. I thought we had to stop him from ruling it…not stop him when he's ruling it!

Park Hideous: Skater has a boss, and he's hideous…that's why they don't let you see his face. Not much too say, mostly because he doesn't appear in any movies, just mentioned.

Soda: Doesn't taste very good, and he know how to use the court. Soda is going to do things I can't tell you without ruining the story, like he kills Park Skater…oops.

There are more characters, but I wanna be cruel and not tell you about them.

Feel free to use them…WITH MY PERMISION! And I would like to know what happens to them when I'm not around

Coming soon: Bar wars: Episode 1, the ghosts jerk.

It might take a while…maybe in 10 years, if you're lucky… dundunduuuuuuuuuuun

Note: I own these characters, not star wars.


	2. The ghost jerk

**I'm working on a teen titans FanFic, so the next chapter might be a while**

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!

Bar wars

Episode 1

The phantom jerk

"Hey, give me back my bar" cried Soda 

"No, I bought it," yelled Pace Dindu

"With my money" snapped Soda

"At least my name isn't a type of drink," replied Pace

"That's not the point," screamed Soda

"Can you please just order" said the voice box.

When they got back, Pie-pond Pin and Noble-two Ganobie said they were going to some planet name Falboo. There, they were going to pick up some queen called queen Adminpala. They were going back home when…

"Our thingy-ma-bob's broken!" Cried Noble-two

"So?" Asked Captain Panmaker.

They crashed on Pateenio, and when too haanta. There they went into a shop owned by some flying guy named Whatso.

Patmy went with them, but stayed in the store with a weird boy.

"My name is Panicken," said Panicken

"I'm Patmy," replied Patmy

"Are you an elephant?" Asked Panicken

"No, what made you think that?" replied Patmy 

"Elephants are ugly creatures that live on a moon," Panicken told Patmy.

Then a harmless windstorm came, and Panicken told them to come to his house. There he showed his jodracer, and the robot he was building for his mummy. When he activated it, it was so annoying that he destroyed it.

Whatso gave them a ship, they kept on annoying him, and Panicken's mother wanted to stay, and get married to some guy.

G4J7, their droid, fixed the ship, then wrecked it just so he can build it again and become more of a hero. Then they saw him doing it, and locked him away. A droid army was going to attack Falboo, but decided not to when they thought it would be too much hard work, and they know they will lose, because they are the bad guys.

Soda said Panicken would be trained, but only if Pie-pond Pin dies. They accepted it, and then went to Falboo, and met a Hith.

"I am Park Saul, bow before me" Said Park Saul

"Just hurry up and kill me" Said Pie-pond

"I hate Panicken, and I like you, so lets just kill the boy, or give him to his mother" whined Noble-two

Park Saul trapped Noble-two, and kicked Pie-pond down a giant whole, but Pie-pond Pin came back up, alive. Dundunduuuuuuuuuuun.

"Who did that?" Asked Notlek

"Um…" replied everyone else.

Park Saul just stabbed Pie-pond with his might-save-ya, and that was the end of Pie-pond Pin

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cried Noble-two.

Noble-two just stabbed Park Saul with his might-save-ya, and then buried Pie-pond Pin.

Coming soon: tea party of the bones 


	3. Tea party of the Bones

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!

**Tea Party of The Bones**

"Want some tea?" Asked a bunch of bones 

"Sure" Replied Sue-a-llama, their creator.

The bones were happy, but they had an evil grin on their faces… dundunduuuuuuuuuuun

"STOP THAT!" Yelled Notlek

"Sorry, it gets boring cooking for a boy that hardly eats. If you ate more, and write less, I'll stop," said Notlek's chef

"Not gonna happen" replied Notlek

Well, back to the story… the bones had an evil grin, like they did something wrong. And also, all the characters are missing…

"Thank you for making me the star of this show, and you are getting an upgrade…in the third movie" Said Sue-a-llama happily.

Sue-a-llama was the only living thing there… apart from her bones. There's something fishy going on here. Apart from the fish. At least we don't have to listen to everyone whining. But the bones are freaky, they have weird tea.

No one knows what happened to the characters, not even the characters, nor me.


	4. While I was cleaning out my closet

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!

Cleaning out my Closet

"What's this?" Ask Notlek, opening his closet.

In Notlek's closet were all the missing characters.

"Thanks you Notlek" Said Soda thankfully

They went up to Sue-a-llama, tied her up, and threw her into a closet, saying she made the bones for them. And Notlek got a new chef… well, back to the story.

Panicken was in the droid factory. Then he saw a message. It said







I mean, "That's weird" Thought Panicken.

Then they caught him, as long with Noble-two and Patmy. They called everything ugly to make them angry. In the end they got badly hurt, and even started a Bones war.

"This is the end of you, Mount Dipped-doo!" Cried Noble-two

"Well know how this ends, now let me cut of Panicken's arm, and escape" Replied Mount Dipped-doo

"Oh, ok," said Panicken peacefully

Mount dipped-doo cut of Panicken's arm, and flew away, screaming

"I LIED!"

"I hate it when people lie" Said Soda, with nobody even knowing he was there, "And I never got to fight"

Banjo Bet was killed, by one of his own weapon, the Bone wars is still on, and I'm stopping writing 'ere.


	5. Revenge of the Myth?

**Insert Disclaimer here** Do you think George Lucas read these? I hope he does. Well, after I say "I do not own star wars" and you finish reading this, you will read the title… now

Revenge of the… myths?

"General Jim" said Panicken

"It's General Me-is-great" said General Me-is-great

"You need to work on your grammar" said Panicken

"I finished my grandma, she's over there" said General Me-is-great, pointing to an old android.

"I will escape, and this ship will brake in half. MWAHAHAHAHA!" coughed Genereal Me-is-great.

A fan, (yes, a fan. Even I didn't think they existed), said "It's General, not Genereal!"

Now I don't have any more fans. Not after I asked him to step outside for a minute. Now, back to the story

"What about me?" screamed Mount Dipped-doo.

"Let's continue," Said I

"WHAT ABOUT ME!"

"We had to delete your scene"

"Oh"

Now that wasted time. Blame Mount Dipped-doo for us having to skip a few scenes. Just so you now, Soda is in Mycheek, the planet, not my cheek.

"Soda" said a bone

"What?" asked Soda?

"Nothing, I just said I wanted a soda because someone asked me"

"Oh"

Now, at the Jedi temple…

"Want some tea?" said a youngling

"Why not" answered Panicken

Um… at someplace else, Pace Dindu died, Panicken turned to Dark Skater, blah blah blah.

"You are the chosen one!" shouted Noble-two in a battle I don't want to describe. :P

"I was the chosen one" said pani- I mean Dark Skater

"I guess I didn't teach you well, bad grammar, so why did you join the dark side?"

"Cookies, they offered cookies"

"Cool, I wanna join"

"Sorry, can't. Got to teach my son the ways of the court"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**Ending it there. Left out a lot. You know who to flame… I mean blame. Unless you want to burn him. Seeya**


	6. A new Dope

Guess what… I don't own Star wars. I find that obvious, because if I didn't, I don't think I would be here. Would I?

Well, here is a parody of Star wars. Have you noticed I only have included Bars in my story once? I will try to add more

Bar wars:

A new dope 

Bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar.

I think that is enough. On with the story…

"Hey Noble-two" Said Puke Landwalker

"I told you, its Den. Noble-two is my real name, and I want to stay hidden" Said Den Ganobie

"Ok, Den, I bought to droid. My-tooth-brush and C.O.P" Said Puke

"Puke, your father died. Dark Skater killed him"

"I read the script. He is my father"

"YOU RUINED THE FAMOUS LINE!" shouted Den Ganobie

" I don't care"

"Just go and blow up the Dead Moon"

Puke flew, blew it up, saved Princess Payer, told her about her father, and Puke is her brother. Everyone got so annoyed the replaced Puke with Duke.

"Hello, I am Duke" greeted Duke.

"NOOO!" Shouted Duke

Dark Skater struck down Noble-Two Ganobie. Everyone Thought Duke was dopey, but they didn't have anyone else.

"One, net number, gut, blue, 5, 874, you, me, bye, 10" counted Duke

"What was he doing?" Asked Pans Coke. (Pans Coke is the guy with tobacca)

"Counting the number of wings he has" Replied Princess Payer

Now they are at Loud City, dancing to the music.

"Deeeeeeee, doooooo, deeeeee, dooooo" Shouted Duke

"I WANNA END THIS MOVIE!" Screamed everyone except Duke

**Better end it there. They have taser guns and Might-save-ya. I am already looking for a new guy**


	7. Dear viewers

Dear viewers:

I am sorry for not updating, but someone has** been **_m__essing around with the fonts and so on__… **L****ooks a****t Duke**_

_**Kicks him out**_

That's better. He has been doing that for MONTHS!!! That was I. If Fan fiction had fonts and all that, this would be a lot funnier!

_Now, I think I am up to episode 5, but luckily I have the videogame, because I can't be bothered to watch it, but I can't be bothered to get up most of the time. (Only in my free time, or my teacher would call me lazy, not that I would have a problem wit' that)_

_Now, hankies for all those people who reviewed. For those who didn't get that joke, if you have been reading bar wars, not only do you not have much to do, but I change the first few letters, like Yoda, Soda, so on. Thankies, hankies… get it now? You much think I'm a writing genius, but the truth is, I am only part. I am improvising this, right from the beginning. And bar wars, it's all made up. Did you hear a scream?_

_And my chef, he was real…ly real. Heh got you there. I think. Well, this has been a total waste of your time. And it's not ending here. I made some money by putting ads here. They are invisible ones, since the contract never said it couldn't be. It would probably take longer to read than right this, which is good. So good in fact you should read my next chapter called… The Umpire Hike Pack. Not that good of a title, but it would do. Now, after that is Return of… and I can't tell you the last bit. I will give you a clue… it rhymes with: Moda's mipper me most mehind ma mouch_

_Incase you can't transal- I mean figure it out, Yoda lost something behind the mouch… I mean couch. Well, click the review button and tell a lie to make me fell better. Don't worry; I lie all the time, like I'm lying right now. Wait, if I'm lying, I'm telling the truth, meaning I would be lying, which means I would have told the truth… I will be awhile here, you should leave._


	8. The Umpire's Hike Pack

Disclaimer: I still do not own Star wars, or any characters I parodied. Any other character you can't identify is most probably mine. Like I thought of a random that turned out to be Kelton, and he's my character.

**Now, I'll share a little history about disclaimers; if you write here, you say you don't own it, but if George Lucas came on, he won't have to, but will so people won't realize.**

**Now, I present to you:**

**The Umpire Hikes Back**

I think that's what I called it last chapter… 

_Checks_

_Nope, it was:_

The Umpire's Hike Pack 

"I hate this title, so much hiking!" said Duke

"We are watching the movie, taking notes about what happened and writing the script for Notlek" said Payer

Uhh… I don't understand why I leave things like this is? Does it really make it funnier? Well, just ignore that last bit with Duke and Payer, and read about the friendly bat-bats.

The bat-bats were wrecking everything in sight on the nice planet Goth. Oops, I meant unfriendly bat-bats… anyway…

Puke (Where did he come from) came in, but everyone kicked him out. Then Duke came in his K wing, and shot the cable around their legs. Then he remembered they don't have any legs. He shot a bomb, but it was way off. The umpire said it was a foul. Then he said I should make my sentences longer. I have no idea what he means. Really, no idea. Well, as the umpire was arguing, the Neville's defeating them because they are the good guys, and the good guys always win.

As Pans and Payer were trying to get out of the Neville base, they ice-troopers came in and had a party. But all the pie was stolen, so they sent the kni- oops, wrong story. I should cut that out. But I can't be bothered.

Now Hans in driving the Pie car around some asteroids. You thought I would make some witty name out of Millennium Falcon, didn't you? Well, I like pie. And you should to. And the Umpire is still going on about my short sentences. I don't know what he means.

Now they are at the place they go now. Cloud City… I mean Floudville

They had the party. THE END!!! NOTHING HAPPENED! GO HOME! DRIVE SAFELY! What, they are home, and some of them can't drive…

The end

It's that time of day again, put the money in the hat and no one you know gets hurt.


	9. Return of the lost Slipper

**Not another Bar wars chapter!**

No, I am not doing a parody of Not another Teen Movie 

**And I do not own Star wars: Disclaimer**

Return of the Slipper 

**(That Yoda lost down behind the couch)**

**(That was the title)**

A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long

"WE GET THE IDEA!" Screamed my fan (That would be you, not many people read this far)

Well, anyway, in a bar not too far away…

"That's my peanut"

"No, that my peanut!"

Wait, that's in a bar… better stop that. Is bar in Bar wars about a candy bar, or the public drinking house? Is it about either? Anyway, Jabba was sipping some nice cold Notlek brand sody pop. And he had some pie. I like pie. Anyways… he made a slave dance, feed him, yes _him_, to the cancer. Blah, blah, blah, blah… oops, they are up to the speeder showdown…

Sorry

Well, Duke I think I hired… he grabs his might-save-ya, Payer choked Jabba, that's all, go home. Wait, there's more. No point staying now but. But some people do read this…

Well, Payer and Duke were on a slower, please change it to slower slowdown. Hehehe, funny. Well, after several rocks passed them, a drone crashed into something that exploded and they won. Duke had some tea with Skater, Dark Skater. Mostly because he didn't read the script.

I don't feel like writing anymore. You all read my previous work, so you should be able to tell what happens next. Uhh… I will waffle some more just so no one complains.

They met Picket. Picket the Wicket. Or was Wicket his name. I can't remember their race. Who cares? Not me. And I can tell you don't care what you read. My mamma told me you could know a lot about a person by what they read. And she also said life was like one of Notlek's stories… it's completely pointless. And you also don't know what you are going to get. But you know it won't be decent.

Anyways… Dark Skater helps defeat whatever I called Darth Sidious, think it was Dark Hideous. Well, he stabbed him up the buttocks, and Dark Hideous got all the ice cream he could eat. Then he played pin pong.

And then the Death Planet I will call it, it blew up! And that's the end.

**Fin.**

(For the six eps. I will do more for my fan (That's you) I have brackets in brackets that make no sense!)

**Well, hit review, give me ideas, and next I will put up all my replies and answer them. **_Hooray._


	10. Behind the scenes

Bar wars

Extra

This is when I talk about behind the making of Bar wars. A fan-fic with about 5 people that have read all of it. Yay. Well, it starts after the disclaimer.

**Disclaimer: No.**

**(That means I don't own it)**

"Ello Puke" I said 

"You fired Puke, didn't you?" Said Payer

Then Dark Skater said, "I thought you fired Duke?"

I said, "I don't remember, I know I did fire my chef, but I haven't got a new one"

"Your stories are stupid and random," Said a random disliker

All this time I was thinking that I didn't want to do this. Then I thought if I should do ones about the things after the movies. Then I was thinking of some hot chicks, but you don't need to know that. Just for you perverts.

"WHO ATE ALL THE DONUTS?!?!?!?!" I screamed at the bottom of my lungs. I don't talk the loud, so it might be your outside voice or something.

Then Harry said, "Accio Golden Egg"

Oops, just read a story from Stupid is as Lana Does. Is that meant to be taken from Stupid is as stupid does? Forest Gump is funny. Oops, I got off track. Lana, meet me in a dark alley for my money. Take a gun to get the money back if you feel like it.

Well, it turned out my new chef didn't make any donuts. But he made Danishes. So I ate some jelly cups. Yeah.

Then Panicking said, "Wanna go to Mars?"

"Yeah, I have a rocket, let's go!" exclaimed Ham.

Mmmmm… Ham. I like ham. And cheese. And bread. And toasters. And ham+ cheese+ bread+ toasters Toasted cheese and ham sandwiches!!! Comes straight from Super Happy Fun Time Land!

How much have I talked about the life of Bar wars members? Place your bets now!

If you said all that was related, you wrong-a. If you said I get sidetracked, you winner.

What was I talking about?

Well, I will let you on a secret for reading this much. There might be a fan-fic called Cords of the Things. I don't know yet though. Or Hairy Pothead. Or, or, or, or whateva you tell me to. I think of name, you say what parody about. Me improve grandma and spelling.

Hey, this is like my third page or something. Well, this was fun. What? It's not over?

Talk to Tobacca.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Or…

Place your review now!

You can pick:

A: …

B: What was that?

C: WOW!!! THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!

Or

D: I worked it out! You are a little 12-year-old kid with long (For a 12 year old) hair that does well with anything that doesn't involve much moving.

There it is. D, I just wrote anything Shifty eyes If you worked that out, you should know that I can trick people very easily. But most people think the opposite and then they know what I'm going to do. That's how I became so random.

**Farewell. And Call me when you're sober. Scratch that last thought.**


End file.
